Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Life is like a River

So yesterday I found out some very bad news for me and my family.  Unfortunately I did not pass my second semester of nursing school. I did my best, I studied hard and it didn't work out. I missed it by 1.3%. That is worth about 3 questions. 3!! that's it. If I earned 3 more points somewhere along the way, I would have made it. I am so frustrated because it was so close. I cried for a long time... multiple times.  Reasons to cry over:
1- I will miss my friends dearly. I have made some good friends and we went through some rough times together in school.
2- I was so close!!!! I kick myself. I don't know if I really could have done anything different. I studied for hours and it didn't benefit me really
3- Now I don't know what my future holds. 

I can apply for a readmission to any school of my choice. I am trying for MCC, GWCC, and SCC and my fate is in their hands now. My school will fax over my readmission paper and it depends on how many slots are available after the block one ends, and how many people are also applying for that slot. So basically I'm not guaranteed a spot to redo my block 2. and If I don't get in this semester, I have to re-apply for the WHOLE DANG PROGRAM!!!!  I just spent a year doing something that I may have to do over again. I do not want that!! If only I got what I want every single time. And i'll have to wait for another year and a half or more to get back into it!! I am very upset with myself and disappointed in myself. I should have tried harder. It's hard knowing everything I worked for has almost gone to waste. The only thing is that i did gain some education and If I do get into block 2 again in the fall, I hope that I would be able to use everything I learned to my benefit. Who knows.  We'll see what the Lord has in store for me. 
I heard the song today "The River" by Garth Brooks and it's so true. 
You know a dream is like a river 
Ever changin' as it flows 
And a dreamer's just a vessel 
That must follow where it goes 
Trying to learn from what's behind you 
And never knowing what's in store 
Makes each day a constant battle 
Just to stay between the shores 


10 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh Becky! So sorry to hear. What block was it? Don't beat yourself up about it! Nursing school is tough. I'm sure you did you best.

My mom failed block 3 and it was heart breaking. She is now enrolled in U of P program where they have a CNA to BSN program.

Hang in there!

Laurie said...

Oh no!! Aw man, that stinks! Okay, we need to go out for ice cream or something!

Lydja said...

Thank you for sharing those lyrics. I cried for you today. I know it must be so hard feeling like you have no idea what's going to happen. I know right now you are so grateful for the knowlege you have of a loving Heavenly Father who not only knows how you feel but knows what to do about it and with your life. Becky, I love you.

Cody, Ashley, Rilyn, Casen, Brigg, and Brooks said...

That totally sucks. I'm sorry.

John and Lisa said...

I am so, SO sorry, Becky. I wish so bad I had something to say that made it all better, but I don't. Except that inspite of the hurt, it's obvious that you still have a positive outlook on the bigger picture, and that's excellent. Hang in there...perhaps down the road you'll soon see the reason behind this, and hopefully it's to your benefit. You never know. Hang in there.

Laci and Dan said...

Becky you amaze me! Being a mom is such a full time job but going to nursing school too?? I envy you! You are such a strong and ambitious woman. Keep your head up and remember that you did your very very best! I am so proud of you!

Chelsey Howard said...

Im sorry Becky that totally sucks. I would totally cry too:( But seriously it all works out in the end. Who knows why these things happen. The good thing is that you can say you did your best. Its not like you were a total slacker:)

Anonymous said...

Move forward and stop looking back. Stay positive and things will work out. You will be that much smarter the next time!

The Blakes said...

Girl, I am sorry you are going through this. For what it's worth, I think that it will actually make you a better nurse. Experiencing this will make you stronger. Nursing school, as well as nursing is so humbling at times. I think you are on the right track by taking what you have learned and moving forward. Don't worry, it will work out.

The Palmer Family said...

Becky that is terrible! I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you are feeling :( I'll tell you becoming a CNA first helps out alot. You learn so much at work that you then can apply at school.

Be happy and know that the lord has his ways.