"Friend"

I have been thinking of this for quite some time now. What is a "friend?" I have come to know many people in my life. I have my friends that I have known since childhood. I have friends from high school, college, and church. According to the webster's dictionary, a friend is

1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion

I have friends and I have acquaintances, as followed by the definition of friend. I have come to a point in my life where it's hard to know who a true friend is. Does a true friend make the same efforts as you do to nourish the relationship? Do they care about you as you do for them, or do they talk to you when it's convenient, or are they ones that are nice to your face, but talk about you behind their back? We're all guilty of saying something mean about our friends at some point in our lifetime, let's face it. A lot of the times it is out of anger, or hurt feelings or whatever. I feel bad for things I've said. I wouldn't want people saying things about me behind my back, though I know for a fact it's been done (guess that's not behind my back if i know about it). It is very hurtful. Some people can shrug it off their shoulders easier than others. I take things very personal. I care too much about what other people think. With that said, I make more of an effort to not talk crap about people.

Also I feel like I make more effort than others to nourish my friendships. Not trying to pat myself on the back or anything, it's just what I do. Kole and I were talking about it tonight and he said the he is not someone who stays in contact with people very well or tries to hang out with people. He said that he thinks it's great for those who do it. In friendships or relationships there is always going to be one person who makes a little more effort to keep it going. I am that person. I found this great article on www.lifescript.com. I agree with this article almost exactly! I have some great friends where we have grown apart a tad. That happens, but our friendship can still be maintained with effort and kindness. Below is the article.

"A true friend is hard to come by. As we grow older, we begin to drift apart from those we considered to be our other half during high school and college. It can be difficult to make new friends, and even more challenging to maintain old friendships as we go through various changes in life. If you are one who has the gift of true friendship in your life, you are fortunate. Most struggle to adjust and find one true friend that is consistent and constant in their life.

The Characteristics of A True Friend
We hear the term “true friend” quite a bit, however, what does this term really mean? A true friend may be composed of many different characteristics, and you may find various friends taking on this role as you grow and change. For example, one true friend may stick by you through thick-and-thin, however, after you marry and become a parent, you find that your relationships changes in both distance and intimacy based upon those who are experiencing similar life patterns. There is definitely a distinct amount of ebbing and flowing found within the parameters of friendship, however, there are some qualities that are always associated with true friendship.

True Friends are Loyal
Chances are your confidentiality has been compromised on more than one occasion. Some people tend to be natural born gossips, and this can often start problems in friendship.

This is why a loyal individual who is capable of keeping secrets is an ideal companion.

True friendship requires trust, and the person who has a reputation for loyalty tends to attract trustworthy relationships. Loyalty is also important on other levels. Nobody wants to be friends with a boyfriend-stealer, or a person who continually asks for financial favors. A consistently trustworthy person often finds himself or herself surrounded by true friends.

Unfortunately, loyalty is hard to come by in today’s self-serving culture. If holding to this standard proves you have only one or two true friends, consider yourself fortunate. These two friends may be all you need to greatly improve your quality of life.

True Friendship is Free of Drama
Anyone can be overly-dramatic when they are upset or excited about something. However, those who gain a reputation as drama queens are going to struggle when looking for true friendship. While friends generally care about each other’s well-being, everyone still has their own agenda and personal life issues to deal with. Having to constantly care for an unstable companion can grow old quickly, especially if the dramatics flare up in situations where they are not appropriate.

If you are a drama queen yourself, try to keep the theatrics to a minimum. If you are friends with an overly-emotional person, then you probably understand how exhausting it can be.For this reason, a second sign of a true friend is found in their ability to balance their needs and wants with yours. Everyone gets upset from time to time, and crying with a close friend is comforting and offers a healthy release. However, those who are constantly vying for your attention and obviously manipulating situations are not usually ideal for close friendship.

True Friends Endure
A final characteristic of a true friend is a good level of endurance. This may be the most difficult trait to achieve in friendship due to constantly changing circumstances. However, if you are able to find a friend who is there for you during life’s victories and heartbreaks, then you know how valuable this trait is.

Some people remain close to their childhood friends their entire lives, but most people move on and feel fortunate when they find a friend who endures throughout adulthood. This is the type of friend who brings over a casserole when you have a baby, the one who comes with you to the hospital to visit a sick parent, and the one who remembers your birthday no matter how busy her life becomes.

Sound wonderful? Friendships that endure are one of the most special relationships you will ever experience. If you are looking for true friendship that will stand the test of time, the best thing you can do is become a true friend. When you begin to treat others with a special level of encouragement and respect, you will find they are eager to reciprocate when the opportunity presents itself. The concept of treating others as you would like to be treated really does work when it comes to enduring friendships. If you prove to be a faithful companion when life gets rough, you will attract friends that back you up in the same way.

Endurance does not always mean being a superhero. Sometimes knowing when to back off and respect an individual’s privacy is the best approach to take. People who are able to discern between helpfulness and intrusion are capable of sustaining long-term friendships."

For those who read my blog or on facebook and we don't actually hang out.. I still enjoy your friendship in that you care to read this. I enjoy getting to know new people and reading other's blogs and hearing about your fun adventures and stories. If one day our acquaintance grows into a true friendship- great. If not, I'm happy to know you. I call a lot of people my friend, because according to the dictionary, "friend" has many meanings. Anyway, that is all.